A Father's Love and Random Thoughts

Uh oh...I'm avoiding my homework again...it's this other problem that I have.

Anyways, I went to Crusade and it was really good tonight. But during worship I just couldn't concentrate no matter how hard I tried. And I felt like crying but I couldn't...which is good cause that would not be cool. But I just felt so bad because God has given me so much and I couldn't even give 5 minutes. Until we sang the song "Here I Am" which goes something like this...

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

It just made me feel so humbled to be loved by Jesus so much that He laid down His life. And even though I don't give Him all the time that I should be He still loves me.
I know I have been putting things above God. I know that my school work has become the most important thing in my life right now, that it's like I almost have forgotten about God. Until tonight. And the night I go is the night they talk about idolatry. Which is what I have been doing...kinda. Putting anything above God is idolatry. And the reason that I almost didn't go tonight was because of homework...
I know that things won't change right away. I know that homework will still be important to me. Because of my dad who is always on my back about that sort of thing. But I know that if I ask God for His help, to help me focus on Him more I know He will. And it's not like I have to give up studying to give god all my time, just give up a few minutes to spend with Him.

A relationship with God is like having a relationship with a friend. You have to work at it. If you don't spend time with that person you are never going to get to know them and a relationship will never build. Just like with God. If you never spend time in the word and just talking to Him what is suppose to come from it? If you're faithful to God, He will be faithful to you. You do have to work at a realtionship with God. Just because you're a Christian doesn't mean you automatically have a perfect relationship. It's something you have to try for. And I honestly believe it will be well worth it. Because another thing I learned at Crusade tonight was that God will judge us all. And if my relationship with God isn't right, where will I be on judgement day? I don't want to have to stand in front of God and regret not having spent time getting to know Him. I don't know when I'm going to die, and I don't know when Jesus is coming back. But I do know that I want to be ready. And why not? Jesus gave so much just for me. He gave His entire life for me. And if I don't have the decency to give God 5 minutes of my time, then I don't deserve to be with Him for eternity. Jesus is probably the only one who has ever given me so much love, and just everyone love in general. I know he yearns to be loved back by me. And the more of God that I have the happier I know I will be. He brings joy into our lives.

So here's what I have to say. I just want to be a light in this world. And by achieving that I will live each and everyday as it's my last day and then maybe when my life is over Jesus will be proud of me...


Ok, still not finished writing...why? Because my paper is still needing to be written and Angela is teaching me about Psychology...
Anyways, it's snowing again. Kristin told me that if it gets really bad they are going to cancel school tomorrow. I don't have any hope that school will be cancelled though. This isn't the (random thought: Angela forgets that I already took psychology....) west side. They don't just cancel school because we have an inch of snow. I can pray, but I will NOT get my hopes up. So Kayla, Josh, and I went to starbucks and when I was getting out of the car I bumped my knee on the car door. It wasn't even like I hit it hard, it was a gentle bump but it hurts like heck!! It's just a little bruise and it hurts to walk. I feel like a big baby...which I'm not. So there was something else....whatever, I want to play in the snow.

Ok, I'm finally done writing. This is long. Whatever.