Pulling a resume from where?!?!

I'm trying to get into the habit of doing this again. Mainly for my roommate's sake. But anyways...

I figured out how my math professor got chalk on the bottom of his pants! He sits on the table and ties his shoe, which then gets chalk on the bottom. What he doesn't know is that there is also chalk smears on the desk so when he sits down on it chalk gets all over the back of him...poor guy. He seems so helpless.

Funny story:
Today in English class I over heard a conversation. It went something like this...
Girl #1: Hey are you coming over tonight? Jerry wants us to hang out with him
Girl #2: Sounds like fun but I can't. I have to pull a resume out of my ass. [She pronounced ass like auss.]

My thoughts. "Well that's interesting. I wonder how she is going to do that?" But I can understand why she can't hang out. That will probably take all night and probably be a bit painful. What if she got a paper cut? Man, I wish coming up with a resume was that easy. Good luck to her having to clean it off. Actually now that I think about it, that's kinda gross...

That's my story for the day. I need a nap...